“What Did You Say Your Major Was?” (Part 2)

I love spending the weekend at home. Being away from the craziness at school, sleeping in my own bed, and not having to worry about disturbing my napping roommate is great, but I always have to deal with one interesting character or another at the airport on my way home. I could pull a David Sedaris and write a long piece of nonfiction about them all, I’ll instead choose to rant about this trip’s person here.

I enjoy coming up with oddly fitting names for people, so I’ll call this man Double Chin Larry. He had a double chin, and even though his name probably isn’t Larry, he looked like a Larry, and thus, I will call him Larry for descriptive purposes. Double Chin Larry, who looked about 28, was behind me in the security line, mumbling about how he always forgot to pull out his “stupid computer.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or not, so I just nodded in agreement. Once I pulled my own “stupid computer” out and put it in a bin, he noticed my “I am Chapman” sticker.

“Oh, do you go to Chapman University?” Double Chin Larry asked as he stroked the stubble on his double chin.

No lol I just put the sticker on my laptop so I could look cool. “Yeah, I do,” I said.

“What’re you studying?” Apparently, Double Chin Larry enjoyed small talk.

“Creative Writing.”

“Oh, so you want to be a journalist?”

*mental facepalm* Oh, Double Chin Larry, if only you knew how many people asked me that. “No, I want to be a novelist.”

Double Chin Larry paused, like he was trying to formulate his response in the way that would be least offensive. “Oh, I see, but just so you know, you might end up having to write more blogs than books.”

Okay, Double Chin Larry. You don’t even know my life or my writing, but okay. Thank you for your contribution. You will now be ranted about in my next blog post k thx bye.

I just nodded and smiled, my standard reaction when a hater hates on my career choice.

Double Chin Larry continued talking. “I went to Long Beach State.”

“Oh, nice,” I said. “What did you study?”

“Communication. It was the easiest degree I could get to get out of there.”

Well then, please don’t crap on my dream if you don’t have one yourself, Double Chin Larry.

He then went on to talk about his blogging experience, which I wasn’t really interested in, and how blogging is a good way to make a name for yourself. That’s true, but crapping on someone’s dreams isn’t going to make them want to take your advice, my dear Double Chin Larry.

And, maybe it’s unfair of me to say that Double Chin Larry doesn’t have a dream. He probably does, and that’s great, but that doesn’t mean that he’s allowed to be rude about it. My writing is important to me, and I will do what it takes to get published. I just hope that the Double Chin Larrys of the world can accomplish their dreams, too, so they can stop being rude to people they don’t know. So, Double Chin Larry, if you’re out there, you have officially been added to the list of best reactions I’ve heard when I tell people my major. I just hope you get to where you want to be, as well.


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